The Context
We just came back from a two-week vacation on the Italian coast. And I was very determined to spend every minute with daylight either on the beach or under the sea. I mostly succeeded.
During the first week of our arrival my airbnb hosts, an Italian couple, seven years together, encounter some issues. More specifically, she found out he was cheating on her and decided to leave him, packing and arranging moving trucks during our stay. During this painful time I decided to be present with her and her pain, having an Italian ex who also cheated on me allow me to connect based on my own experience and add some sorority love.
Towards the second week we noticed the ambiance was slightly too tense and decided to book a room at some bed & breakfast by the sea. I was still determined to spend as much time as close to the sea as possible.
Bu then my partner at some point mentioned he was bored with the beaches, which to me, made no sense. He wanted to, like do something else?! In light of his request and my admittedly selfish desire to be by the sea, I decided to solve the issue by skillful means, lol. So I told him we could do anything he wants but he must arrange the stay. He did come up with one plan, a place on the mountains –why?! I will never understand the Germanic mind. Anyway, his plan fell apart when he called the place he wanted to say in. Of course requesting a room within 24 hours during high season Italy was never going to work. I asked if he had a second choice for an overnight stay, you know, like a plan B. He did not. So the issue resolved itself #SkillfulMeans.
But I felt a bit evil, so me, being the almighty good meditator that “I” am, decided to help search for a place. I managed to find a place somewhere in the mountains and with good ratings for that very night. But srsly, the mountains… Pfff. Next day we were happily driving back to the sea. Mountains are weird, we all agreed.
The Experience
While I did encounter some mishaps, I managed to spend most days on a beautiful beach. And I was just there. Didn’t read, didn’t write, or spent any time on my phone. I just sat there, or swam, or floated.
When I came back to The Netherlands, everything was different. My attention could easily rest on anything but furthermore, I found everything quite beautiful. The Sunlight particularly, even against the ugly side walk, was of such a lovely quality. I drove my bike to the supermarket, and the tall trees I always bike by pulled me out of my head and I became the leafs and the wind. Quite beautiful, and with no effort whatsoever. The sound of the leaves, the wind… I was just sliding through the day and life, nothing particular, yet another world.
What was it?
It only lasted a few days, and I slowly felt like I was going back to the “cage”, which I have mostly created myself, I now realize.
I also feel the way I meditate is changing, there is a lot less effort now, nothing to do. Just communion with light, leaves, birds, water, nature. Now mostly with my eyes open.
Above, in our way to Cala Luna.
Self-Ethnography 